Duragesic Days

I snapped and everything was static. Only a few days ago I took what to me is a small dose of methadone, 60mg. In addition to that I took magnesium, DXM, tagamet, benadryl, baking soda and soda to help absorption, and a lot of kratom. I was very happy and on the nod. Several times I woke up not breathing and I stopped and had to think if it was worth trying to breathe, doing so might ruin the experience. It was strange that such a small dose for me could cause such strong effects.

Completely out of any real opioid I turned to poppyseed tea and kratom. I found a tea ball (?) I think it’s called that, it’s some sort of metal box with holes in it that you stick your tea in and submerge it and let it soak. The holes are too big for the powdered kratom but small enough for poppyseeds. So I made some poppyseed tea and ate some kratom and went to an old friend’s house. She was worthless to me now and as I was in a very amoral mood I decided to swindle the bitch. What set me off was the fact that I needed $10 to pay a fine or I’d have a warrant out for my arrest, some fine I never paid off from years ago. “What’s in it for me?” “I’ll pay you back.” “No, I want pills!” How could a “bestfriend” choose pills over my freedom? So the swindle proceeded.

“Yeah I can get acid.”

“How do you know it’s real?”

“Oh I tried some last night, I hate that stuff though.”

And with those words said everything was in place. She worked in a nursing home and would eat the stuff in the patches occasionally. She thought she was on the verge of becoming a hardcore addict. Never mind the fact that fentanyl is the shortest acting opioid and that it would be impossible to do it once a night and get addicted. She had no fear losing her job because she would make a cut on the patch and suck some of the gel out and then replace it. The deal was I would give her sugar cubes and she would give me 1 100 patch and 1 25 patch of fentanyl. I can always just owe her money. “What do you mean they didn’t work?” I owe everyone anyways. I felt really bad but I’d just make up an excuse and pay her $10. Much more evil than the time me and Krist bought a 1,000,000 candlepower spotlight and drove through the countryside, shining it in peoples windows and honking the horn at 2am, then returning the spotlight for our money back.

Krist, Heather, and me went to an amusment park and then we drove to Heather’s to pick up an old computer. We got back to my place with 5 minutes to spare and I ran in and got the 2 cubes. I also grabbed some rice and we went to the parking lot of her workplace. I actually dropped one of the cubes in the rice but I wiped it off and stuck it in cellophane. Some girl came out and looked at us suspiciously. I envisioned my friend getting in trouble for yanking the patches but figured the cops would already be there by now. She finally came out and told me to meet her at her place in a halfhour. So we drove around and listened to some good music.

We got to her place and everything worked out. I slapped the used looking patch on. “He takes them off and sits them on his stand. I guess he thinks he gets a new one everyday.” There was a significant amount of gel left in it but the patches never work that well for me. I never fell obliterated on them. It was a 100, the big ones. I took 2 methadones, kratom, and potentiators and enjoyed the night. The funny thing was is that we were both very immoral, she stole from a patient and I traded her fake acid. I tried sticking the patch behind my ear but my hair kept getting in the way. The 100 patches are huge, too big to stick behind an ear, might work if I had a mohawk again. Allegedly drugs pass easier and faster through the skin behind your ears.

Things were stagnating. There isn’t much new to write about if you don’t go out and do things and with a lack of money, doing things is hard to do. The lack of money was the biggest thing stopping me from going on more adventures, so me and Krist went searching in shops for things to buy low and sell high online. I grabbed up an official copy of Eraserhead on DVD, David Lynch’s first movie, for $20. I put it online for a decent price and it didn’t sell. So far nothing has earned me money this summer, not kratom, not Eraserhead, not anything.

Of course I’ve read books by people who became professional bums, mooches, thieves. Thievery goes against my principles but it sure is fun. I can’t say that I haven’t swiped a few things in the past myself, not to mention the shady deal I just spoke of. When the fall comes most of my friends will be professional laborers or college students, most no longer living around me or into the things they used to be into. That leaves me in the same place following the same circular path only lonely and out of things to do but with any luck I’ll break this circle and get the hell out of this place.

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